Necessary Words Only

Business writing (from e-mails and memos to articles and reports) needs to be about clarity over length. Keeping your sentences short, using easily understandable words and minding the length of your writing ensures a clearer message for your reader.

Tip 1: Use short sentences.
Research shows that understanding drops when sentences are too long. A suggested average sentence length is less than 20 words. Break longer sentences down into two or more sentences, if possible. Try to stick with simple sentence construction by using the S-V-O (subject-verb-object) model for your sentences, where the subject of the sentence is first, the verb second and the object last.

Tip 2: Use simple words.
Simple words ensure that your meaning comes across loud and clear. Your audience may not have the same vocabulary that you have. Here are some examples:

• Use “prove” instead of “substantiate.”
• Use “use” instead of “utilize” or “operate.”
• Use “now” instead of “currently.”
• Use “broken” instead of “nonfunctional.”
• Use “this means” instead of “tantamount”

Apply this tip to phrases as well. Instead of saying “on a regular basis,” just say “regularly.” Instead of saying “advance planning,” stick with “planning” (all planning is technically in advance after all). You don’t want to overload your reader with unnecessary adjectives and adverbs.

Tip 3: Pay attention to overall length.
Avoid general wordiness — cut out any words, phrases, sentences or paragraphs that aren’t central to what you want your reader to understand. A general rule is to proof read your writing and cut it by 10%.

In today’s business writing, wordiness and length tend to obscure the meaning of the writing, leaving the reader confused. We tend to value length over clarity — a habit that needs to be broken so our readers will understand what we are saying.

Writer for the Harvard Business Publishing blog, David Silverman poses the following challenge to reduce a complex phrase to something simple. Can you cut this to just a word or two?

It is the opinion of the group assembled for the purpose of determining a probability of the likelihood of the meteorological-related results and outcome for the period encompassing the next working day that the odds of precipitation in the near-term are positive and reasonably expected. [Silverman, David. “Why Is Business Writing So Bad?”]

Indian Country Human Resources Training: ONLINE

Join Falmouth Institute for an Online Training experience. The same great training, without the expensive and time-consuming travel.

Coming in November and December (click title for more information):

Ethics and Office Politics: Being the Champion of Change
November 12, 2009 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. EST
Explore ethical solutions to everyday situations and workplace situations that prompt change.

Interviewing Skills: Asking the Right Questions
November 10, 2009 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. EST
Learn the difference between the right questions and the questions that will lead you no where.

Hot Topics and New Development in Employment Law
December 7, 2009 1:00 p.m. - 2:00 p.m. EST
Are you aware of recent changes to Federal statutes regarding employment?

Sign up to receive Online Training updates via e-mail

Hyphens: Correct Usage Between Words

In my experience, usage of the hyphen both in formal and informal writing is often haphazard. Sure, it’s possible that your readers will not notice (or care) that your hyphenation is incorrect (or missing), but when it comes to writing in professional situations, your credibility may be at stake.

This Tips & Tricks post will focus on the correct usage of the hyphen when it’s placed in between two words.

Let’s examine some common hyphenation rules and examples to illustrate them:

1. Numbers:
• Compound numbers from twenty-one to ninety-nine:
• The lady who lived in the house at the corner of my street was known to have twenty-three cats.
• Fractions:
• He was out of town on business for about one-fifth of each year.


2. Adjectives that come before a noun and operate as one modifier:
• The right-side window was broken.
• Jerry’s long-awaited promotion offer was given to him on Friday.


3. Compound nouns: In the case of compound nouns, it’s best to check a dictionary (or http://www.dictionary.com/) to see if a compound noun should be two separate words, one whole word (without a hyphen) or hyphenated.
• That new horror movie isn’t for the faint-hearted.
• I borrowed my mom’s hand-held blow dryer when I visited her for the weekend.


4. To provide clarity: In confusing sentences, a hyphen may be used to clarify words that should go together, even though the words are technically separate.
• My first grade school teacher was Mrs. Smith. or My first-grade school teacher was Mrs. Smith.
• I saw thirteen odd dogs. or I saw thirteen-odd dogs.


5. Between the repetition of a letter:
• Her sister lived on a co-op with several friends; they grew and shared produce on land they all owned.
• The snake re-emerged from the pool of mud, and Jake screamed.
• EXCEPTIONS: There are several exceptions to this. For instance, the words overrule and underrate should not be hyphenated.

Finding Your Active Voice

Grammatically speaking, writing in the passive voice is not wrong. However, it is important to know the difference between passive and active voice. The active voice tends to be more direct, which is necessary in business and professional writing. Knowing the difference between these two voices is important because “the habitual use of the active voice…makes for forcible writing” (The Element of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White).

In the active voice, the subject of the sentence acts. In the passive voice, the subject of the sentence is acted upon — the subject isn’t “doing” the action. Let’s look at a simple example:

(Active) I love you.
(Passive) You are loved by me.

In the first sentence (the active voice), “I” am the subject and “I” do the action (“love”). The second sentence isn’t as straightforward or direct. The subject of the sentence is “you” and “you” don’t do anything — “you” are the recipient of the action (“love”).

To clarify, let’s look at a few more examples:

(Active) Your letter of October 9, 2009 arrived today.
(Active) We received your letter of October 9, 2009 today.
(Passive) Your letter of October 9, 2009 was received by us today.

(Active) The “spell-check” feature makes correcting my spelling easier.
(Passive) Correcting my spelling is made easier with the “spell-check” feature.

(Active) The administrative assistant filed the report.
(Passive) The report was filed by the administrative assistant.

Tip: Nearly 100% of the time, the active voice uses fewer words than the passive voice. It is more direct and usually conveys a clearer message.

Remember that neither voice is grammatically incorrect. However, most business writing needs a clearer, more direct voice to convey a clear message, so use the active voice.

Exception: In instances when diplomacy and tact are necessary, the passive voice tends to sound softer. The passive voice works well to convey unpleasant news.

(Active) I find your work unsatisfactory.
(Passive) Your work has been found unsatisfactory.

That vs. Who

Many years ago, a teacher corrected an essay of mine. Since I can’t remember the exact topic of the essay, let’s say I was recounting a dream that I’d had:

“Then, I ran into the woman that had given me the exam.”

Whoops. My teacher crossed out “that” and replaced it with, “who.” In the margin, she wrote, “That refers to objects. Who refers to people.”

Since then, I’ve found myself catching others’ misuse of these two words.

While it’s come to my attention that the English language is actually very forgiving of instances when individuals (whether in writing or in speech) interchange that and who, conventional grammar rules do offer a clear (and easy to remember) distinction.

That refers to objects.

• I liked the shirt that fit me somewhat loosely.
• I applied to a school that was known for its Visual Art program.
• I trained the dog that knows how to “speak.”

Who refers to people.

• She became best friends with the girl who played with her first.
• I’m the one who taught the dog how to “speak.”
• He’s the guy who found my keys at the gym.

See also: That vs. Which.