Communicating with Confidence

Picture this: You step into an elevator to travel to your office on the sixth floor, and just as the doors are about to close, a hand flies into the elevator and the doors re-open. It’s your boss’s boss and the head of the organization, both of whom you have only ever spoken to once before. Immediately your heart starts pounding in your ears and you feel your face flush. You wish you could slink to the corner of the elevator and blend in with the wallpaper, but that is not an option.  You know you should say something, but what?

Or how about this: Your supervisor comes to your desk, breathless. She is holding a meeting with some VIPs from the community, and she just realized she sent the wrong presentation to the copier. She asks you to go to the conference room and entertain the VIPs until she returns.

How would you feel in these situations? Most of us would feel anxious, nervous, and pressured. According to the Book of Lists (2005), most people fear public speaking more than they fear death!  Why is this? What is it about speaking in front of others that causes us so much panic?

For many of us, it is the fear of rejection. When speaking to important people, or to large groups of people, it feels like what we say matters immensely.  One false word could mean intolerable embarrassment, which could seriously impact our self-esteem. If we recognize that these high-pressure situations are bound to happen from time to time, what can we do to prepare ourselves and initiate the best possible outcome?

The answer is simple, and yet difficult for many of us to achieve—self-confidence. Self-confidence is what makes a good speaker in high-pressure situations — not a special book, not the “good speaker” gene, and not necessarily lots of practice (although, the more you practice feeling self-confident, the more it will become your gut reaction to these stressful situations).

We’ve all heard the phrase “fake it until you make it.” In the case of high-pressure speaking, this axiom holds especially true.  Even if we don’t feel particularly self-confident, if we project a confident image, others will perceive us as such, and this will actually end up making us feel more confident.

So how do you go about projecting confidence when you don’t feel it? Here are a few ideas:

• Breathe deeply from your diaphragm. Imagine you are trying to suck in air through your bellybutton. This will help prevent verbal shakes and stammers.
• Be aware of your facial expressions. Unfurrow your brow, warm up those smile muscles, and relax your lips.
• Check your posture.  Beware of hunching shoulders.  Keep them pressed back and low, but only as far as is comfortable.
• Make eye contact while smiling. This is perhaps the single most important “giveaway” of confident individuals.
• Think positive thoughts about yourself.  It may sound silly, but repeating the mantra “I can handle anything” or “I am calm and confident” or even “I am awesome!” can have a measurable positive effect on your self-confidence. This is known as the phenomenon of autosuggestion.

What else can help you project confidence in high pressure situations?  Please share your ideas in the comments section below!

*For another perspective on public speaking, visit http://thingaboutskins.wordpress.com/2010/06/