Taming emotions with your co-workers

Highly emotional situations with co-workers sometimes present themselves in the workplace. Have you ever said something in the heat of the moment that you later realized you shouldn't have said? Earn a reputation as someone who is mature, reliable and professional by learning how to focus and remain calm in these tricky situations.

• Examine your own behavior. First, ask yourself if you are doing anything to provoke your co-worker. If a co-worker is upsetting you, avoid accidentally expressing your exasperation. Avoid shaking your head, rolling your eyes, sighing, groaning or using sarcastic tones.
  
  
• Control emotional encounters. When upset by a colleague, keep your body language and speaking tone neutral and non-threatening. Breathe deeply. Pause between sentences. Slowing down will help you maintain control. If the conversation gets too heated, walk away and try again when both of your tempers have cooled.
  
  
• Take the issue to your boss. Some conflicts are difficult and sometimes impossible to resolve on your own.
  
• Explore your options by writing down what is frustrating you. Once you see your situation in writing, you may realize that it’s not worth mentioning.
• Frame issues objectively. Don’t simply blame the other person. You might want to say something like, “Carol and I seem to be having a conflict that’s affecting our work and I’d like your help with resolving it.”
  
  
• Keep emotions out of e-mail. Ponder on your situation for a day or so. Have a colleague review your e-mail message before you send it, to make sure that there isn’t an angry tone or any questionable phrasing.

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